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Writing using a picture - by Tom

08.03.21

Tom this is a wonderful piece of writing. Where to start?! The structure of this writing is great and it really leads your reader down a path. You think about the five senses (such as smelling like dead rats) and you use lots of powerful adjectives (eerie, dreary). You also use personification - 'The trees whispered to me...'. Thank you so much. I am so pleased that you join our Powerful Writers' Club, and I can't wait to see what you write next week!

The Cave - by Tom

I was walking down the road when I saw a dark and eerie cave, it went on as far as the eye could see. The Ivy strangled the cave’s bricks around the cave. The trees whispered to me not to walk in; I didn’t listen. When I walked in, darkness engulfed me.

I didn’t know what to think. It sounded like rats filled the walls, plus it smelt like dead rats were on every brick. Spider webs duplicated as I walked. Stalactites were on the ceilings. It was like they were about to fall and hurt me.

Suddenly, I heard a scream at the back of the dreary cave. The tunnel looked like it would go on forever. I then ran as fast as my little legs could carry me. I bolted towards the sound. I was determined to find out who was crying.

The stalactites were crashing down behind me; I knew they didn’t want me to see something. They were shouting “stop, stop, stop!”  After I reached the end, blood was smeared on the walls. There was a little boy with only one hand and right next to him was an evil man. I tried to punch him; it was impossible - his chest was impenetrable. I hurriedly ran out of the cave never to return...