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The Secret Attic - by Adrian

28.06.21

This is a great start to your story, Adrian. It's direct and really gets your reader thinking. I am very impressed with your correct use of commas to add extra information into a sentence so it doesn't get too long. This makes it easier for your readers to understand. Also, you are using the opening phrase, 'In the blink of an eye', to show the passage of time in your story. Well done!