back to Gallery

The Magical Mountain - by Alicia

14.05.21

Wow Alicia! After our 'Boost English class, you took the ideas and went off and wrote this super story. I am impressed at how much you have written while managing to keep the story on track. You have used wonderful images, such as being so cold like ice that people could skate on you! You are now using wonderful opening phrases: 'After I walked for hours and miles,...' and 'Without warning' and 'Moments later' These are great ways to move the plot forward and also give your reader an indication of where and when things are happening. A HUGE well done!