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Harry and the Cub - by Talha


This is a super way to start your idea, Talha! It draws the reader in. We want to know who the cub is, and who Harry is. It's lovely to see that you have remembered to include a time adverb at the start of the sentence, 'Soon...'. This helps your reader to place the action. Also, your 'Show, Don't Tell' for characters is coming along nicely - we can see that you have used ' ... the captain shouted with a fearful face ...'. Super job. Well done and thanks for sharing.

Let's read ...

An extract from 'Harry and the Cub'

Harry was thinking of a name for the lion cub,then he said, ‘How about Pat?’

Soon they reached a place where    there was a staircase of books.’OH NO!’ ‘How are we going to climb those big books?’ Then, Harry heard a sound coming from behind. ‘LOOK IT'S THE LION HUNTERS!’ The captain shouted with a fearful face. ‘ATTACK!’ One hunter had a gun and aimed at the baby cub Pat.

Harry dived to Pat and the hunter missed. Soon Harry had an idea. He asked Pat to shake the tree as strong as he could. Next, Harry took off the tree and threw it to all the hunters and they died. ‘TAKE THAT YOU!’, shouted Harry. ‘This is so surreal!’ ‘How can I climb up this!’, sighed Harry.