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Grandma the alien - by Alicia

14.07.21

Thank you for sharing your writing, Alicia. This is a very humorous beginning of a story about a lovely grandfather who cooks wonderful food for his grandchildren, and a grandmother who isn't who she appears to be. You have chosen to describe the full moon appearing as the moment in which she transforms. You use an adverbial opening phrase with a comma, a powerful verb to replace 'to see' and the co-coordinating conjunction 'as' to connect equally important ideas. I think you have a writing style which combines Roald Dahl and David Walliams. Fantastic!

'At midnight, I peered through the window and saw Grandma staring at the full moon as her mask began to fall down.'