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The alien - by Adrian


Wow, Adrian! What a wonderful description of the alien, Mr.Potato Head! You have written a lovely sequence of description, dialogue and action. Your opening sentence starts with the description of a smell - this is a great technique to draw your reader in.

 'There was a smell of mouldy cheese.'

Also, describing the teacher as having a 'throbbing cranium' gives a very vivid image of his head. Your similes, 'eight legs like and octopus' and 'toes like a frog' add to this wonderful description. Well done and thank you for sharing with us!

The Alien, by Adrian