Description of a chocolate lolly - by Adrian
Adrian, your Magical Candy 2000 lolly is a brilliant invention! You have chosen a name based on Harry Potter's broomstick (the Nimbus 2000), and your persuasive descriptions make me want to eat this right now! I certainly would be disappointed (as you suggest in your opening sentence). Your verb 'oozing' is very descriptive and 'you will be taken to the sky to have a candy party' is a wonderful metaphor. You have included two lovely illustrations as well. Great job, Adrian.