Coordinating conjunctions: children's sentence writing
For 'Skill 7' in our weekly writing club, we have been looking at using some of the more tricky, and less commonly used, coordinating conjunctions: nor and yet. We learnt that 'yet' can be used instead of a 'but', and 'nor' can be used instead of 'neither'. 'Yet' can be an adverb if it is used as 'not yet'.
Look at this sentence from C.S.Lewis's 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe':
But when next morning came there was a steady rain falling, so thick that when you looked out of the window you could see neither the mountains nor the woods nor even the stream in the garden.
For yet, this sentence could be used for the picture:
I knew I had to say something, yet my mouth was too dry to speak.
Children wrote in response to the picture and came up with amazing ideas about what could be happening in this scene. We meet for 50 minutes, and in this time we look at an image, discuss it, try out a new writing skill and then write. The focus is about freeing our minds and just writing. And, what a wonderful job our young writers have done!
Let's read ...
Children's writing will be uploaded here as they send it in to us.
This is a super-duper piece of writing, Kai! The characters' actions are based around the missing ruby, and the descriptions are so carefully chosen; they paint a picture of the characters' emotions and the setting. Using 'Biting my tongue' as the opening phrase sets the tension of the scene. The description of no food on a 'patterned china plate' adds to the intricate detail. From this, we can imagine so much. You have used the trickier coordinating conjunctions (our writing focus for the class), such as 'for' and 'yet'. You have peppered your writing with super 'Show, Don't Tell' descriptions, such as the one of the dad:
Dad was a stout man who was hunched like a question mark.
Fabulous. Thanks so much for sharing with us.
What a cracking way to start your writing, Amila!
'The room was a warzone: child Vs parents.'
This sets the mood of the piece straight away. The description of the 'long-limbed' boy gripping his seat is a perfect 'Show, Don't Tell, as it conveys the sense that he is gripping on for dear life, even though his feet are firmly placed on the ground. You have also used dialogue to explore the boy's shifting emotions and the way he speaks is entirely plausible - just like a child rehearsing telling their parent some bad news. We can all image that from this description! Thanks so much for sharing. This was a riveting read.
Thank you so much for sharing your sentences here, Priyoti! You have captured the feeling in this scene so beautifully. You have described the boy as sighing and the harsh tone of his dad's speech is well depicted. The mum is equally harsh, and she scowls. Your 'not yet' is used here as an adverb, rather than a conjunction, as it describes the verb 'eating'. Well done!