back to Writing by Students

Children's writing: showing character emotions through dialogue - by Selena


What a wonderful piece of writing using dialogue to show how characters are feeling, Selena. A super example of this is the information after the speech from Bella:

'Bella planted her hands on her hips.'


This really helps us to understand that she is bossy and frustrated!


Let's read ...

Summer and the Gemstone's Treasure
Strong scents from summer flowers wafted into the house as Summer searched for the magical door. She had been told it was behind a canvas. Slowly and carefully, she tried to open one of the doors.
 ''What are you doing?'' Bella stamped her foot on the ground.
''Um.. I'm just looking for, you know... Katy, our cat? stuttered Summer.
''NO! I KNOW where you are going. You're trying to get the GEMSTONE! Don't you go inside there, or I'll tell mother!'' Bella planted her hands on her hips.
Summer slowly stepped back as her older sister came closer and closer to her. She felt scared. Her sister was watching her every move. As Summer looked around her, she spotted someone! He was covered in black and by now, she felt petrified!
''Hm. So you BETTER NOT! Or you'll know what'll happen!'' snapped Bella jabbing her finger into Summer's face. ''I'm watching you, so don't you dare find the Gemstone's Treasure!''
After Bella left, Summer realized that the scary person had disappeared. She still knew she had to concentrate. She remembered her friend ,Chloe, showing her the door in the picture that led to the secret bunker. The picture was about a bridge and a lake. Oh no! All the pictures on the wall looked identical! How annoyed could Summer be? The girl realized that all the painted pictures had a different number. 
After 15 minutes of taking every piece of art apart, under picture number 17, there was a bright crimson button. Quickly but slowly, Summer pressed the button and it opened up an enclosure. Yay! Summer placed all the gold into a basket and skipped away!
                                                                The End