back to Gallery

Children's writing: opening adjectives - by Amila


My heart actually stopped for a moment when I read this, Amila:

'What the explorers didn't know was that the gem was in fact the giant's heart, which had blackened with boredom and heartache. His heart had once been pure white, like ivory, until first his children, who were not bound to eternal life, died and then his wife grew old and sick and her calm soul returned to the sea.'

Our target skill for the Year 5/6 class this week was to use opening adjectives, which you did beautifully (Jade-green and springy,' and 'Confident and happy'), but also figurative language if we were able to. The image of the giant's heart is so powerful - it is visual but also a metaphor for his emotion. You have developed the idea of the giant having not spoken for years by giving him older style language. You also use punctuation and short sentences for effect, such as these which you spaced out carefully: 

His body spasmed.

He began to crumble.


Thank you so much for sharing.

Let's read ...