Children's writing: describing a character who is nervous - by Selena
06.06.22
What a great description of a nervous character, Selena! Not only have you described his actions using 'Show, Don't Tell', but the setting also adds to the tension. Well done!
Let's read...
Jake the Sly Spy🎩
Wind whistled around his snugly-fitting top hat. As the dark mist hung heavily in the sky, the ink-black ravens circled the clock tower. Lightning struck the River Thames and a huge splash appeared!
Jake the sly spy emerged from the water and stood up steadily, as the clock tower struck 12. He chewed nervously on his tongue. How on earth would he get in?
He meandered towards the wooden bridge moodily and trembling nervously, Jake glared at the clock as it was now half-past 12. As he was fiddling with the torn-out wool in his pocket, he felt a spiky hook in his navy coat. Jake noticed that he had a rope in his pocket. He dashed over to the clock tower and hung the rope up.
Eventually, the sly spy reached the top of the clock tower and made a proud cackle Suddenly, he noticed the lasers that would make you disappear with a click of a finger!
Reminiscing his gymnastic days in year 4, he knew that he was the best of all! How would he use his skills to overcome his fear of laser-phobia? Jake realised that that was nearly 20 years ago and knew he couldn't do it again. His mind was as blank as a fresh white paper. His throat was dry and his tongue was fuzzy but still knew there was a way to achieve it.
He used his Bluetooth earpiece to call his clients. They announced," If you press the clock button, then an invisible door will open!"
Impatiently, the spy pressed the button, and it opened up a secret bunker.
Cautiously, he stepped inside and discovered a shimmering amethyst on top of a black, glass altar. Slowly and gingerly, Jake seized the gemstone and shrieked with joy!
-ends-