A villainous character - by sameeha
Sameeha, this is a wonderfully creative piece of writing. Thank you for sharing! We used Alexander Rosenberg's 'thug' picture and vocabulary to create our own written picture of a villain. You love experimenting with words, and you always try and use words and phrases that are very adventurous - that's a brilliant way to learn. Well done!
Here is your typed piece, and then below is your hand-written piece from the class along with numbered revisions to show where it is revised and improved.
The cruel, one broad-eyed thug ambled past me as loud as a gorilla. I stared, flabbergasted with his sudden appearance. His hands bled fearsomely, and he had a webbed shoulder, hairy legs and a rancid vest with lots of flaws. The grumpy, greedy thug was drooling like a puppy as he gazed at a supermarket full of luscious food. The thug, who was adorned with tattoos, had made me feel a bit queasy.
“Excuse me. Can you move please?” I asked.
However, the thug continued to babble. I was so livid that I moved against him and went on.
He had not understood my wrath and just shrugged. He spotted a millionaire holding a bar of cash and cackled menacingly. He ran briskly and wrestled the money. The millionaire, daunted, ran away and left the thug itching his head and unable to comprehend - again.