The Storm - by Alicia
Thank you for sharing your writing Alicia. It is fantastic and you have worked so hard at home to produce this after our writing workshop. You are currently reading Harry Potter stories and you have really taken these ideas on board and used them in your own writing. You have really listened to the ideas for the story subject that we talked about (The Storm) and you have created a real demonstration of the panic in this situation by using some of the techniques that we discussed (personification - '...the storm hurling...' and well-chosen, powerful verbs - 'surge' 'ripped'). You are also now writing at length, and this shows that you have developed writing stamina. Well done!
The Storm, by Alicia
One sunny afternoon, Mr. Anger was roasting in the hot jail. He had been staying at the jail for about six years; he still had one more month to stay, and he would be leaving the jail on the first of September. Mr. Anger’s suit that he wore at Hoggy School, was now as dirty as a rubbish bin which was full of food that was rotten (even the police complained about it). His face was thinner than the time that he taught Fancer at school. His voice had become very loud and smoky.
In the house at Number 1, Holly Coolly Street, there lived a pretty and intelligent girl who was called Fancer. The house was shining in different colours under the marmalade sun. There were also sounds of the soft wind which made her not too hot. It was Summer and there was a strong smell from the flowers. She wore a t-shirt, which was purple with a Golden Retriever picture in the middle. She also wore orange shorts with circle patterns on them. Fancer was very excited and joyful, because she got a letter from the headmaster of ‘Roggy High School of Witches and Wizards’, admitting her to join this boarding school. Her parents and her elder sister Moungrack (who was also a student there) were very proud of her. Her brother was delighted too even Fancer was always making fun of him, such as putting banana piles on the floor, and BANG! He always fell on to the floor.
The next day, after her mum had bought all her school things, she put them into a trunk immediately in case she forgot to pack it. Besides, she named her owl: Fanny.
On the first day of school, Fancer went down to the school hall to have breakfast. When she got there, she spotted that the glass which could look through the sky: the sky was very gloomy. All the students who had spotted wouldn’t care about it as they ate their pineapple bun with egg and sausage in it while Moungrack passed out the time tables to all the students. Meanwhile, there was a loud sound echoing the school hall “BOOM! BOOM!”. All the students were terrified because there was a power cut. A severe storm was roaring loudly for the rest of the day.
After three days, some water had flooded the boats near the river, but the water never flooded the tremendous and magnificent castle, because it was located very high on the hill. The storm hurled a surge of seawater onto the campus. Trees ripped up.
Time flew by for months. The storm had finally stopped. All the students helped the teachers to clean up the water that the storm had made. Fancer and Milly had already completed their tests. They had passed all the tests. They were going back home the next day. Fancer, Milly and Moungrack had packed all their things.
The next day, Fancer and Moungrack woke up very early to check if they had left anything in their rooms. When they got out of the castle, they saw that and the flood was gone. When they got to the riverbank, Fancer and Milly saw their primary school teacher, Mr. Anger, stealing the boats. They yelled, “MR. ANGER WHY ARE YOU HERE STEALING THE BOATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mr. Hunchey, the keeper of everything at school, rushed and held Mr. Anger’s hand tightly and joined the students on the train to go to the station.
When they arrived, the first thing they saw was a group of police, but not their parents. After the police had arrested Mr. Anger, Fancer, Moungrack and Milly walked to the glass door and said goodbye to each other and went home.