My Tragic Accident - by Alicia

Personification! What an amazing way to start your story, Alicia!

'Bitterly cold winds scattered the leaves and announced the arrival of winter.'

You have written such a lot and it's great to see that you are using many techniques to give interest to your writing, such as personification, adverbial opening phrases and commas for punctuation. You've also chosen a lovely ending about your mum freezing in horror at learning about your powers.This was great to read and I will never look at my pet dog in quite the same way again! Well done.