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Children's writing: using opening adjectives - by Selena

26.01.22

 

What a fantastic use of dialogue to build up a connection between two characters, Selena! This is a joy to read as you can see how the troll feels by the verbs that you have carefully chosen (gulped / yawned / annoyed/ whispered). This is excellent 'Show Don't Tell'.

You wrote this during one of our Weekly Writing Clubs where we look at a new picture each week and learn a new writing skill – and this week, for Year 4 , this was trying out opening adjectives. And you've included this as well as your opening sentence (Smooth and flat...'). Super!

Let's read ...

The Rock Troll by Selena

Smooth and flat, the waves pushed across the shore. The rock troll woke up after centuries and gulped the entire turquoise ocean.
"Aagh... how long have I slept?  yawned the rock troll and asked. "And why do I look so silver grey like I was painted in charcoal?"
The rock troll saw a little girl that wore a shiny, pink dress. She was standing in the rock troll's hand.
The rock troll screamed " Aargh!"
The  tiny girl screamed back at him"Aargh! He's alive!"
Of course I'm alive!" The rock troll replied back.
The  little girl answered "But... how? You are just a rock!"
The annoyed  rock troll whispered," Ssh... don't tell anyone I'm a talking rock! Off you go now! Here I'll give you a hand."
-ends-