Children's writing: an eagle - by Selena
06.10.22
This story, Selena, starts with an excellent prepositional phrase - 'High on the plateau...' This sets the scene straight away. You have also used lots of ambitious vocabulary, including 'plateau' to give very specific details about the place and features of this area of the mountain. Excellent choice! Thanks so much for sharing this great writing.
Let's read ...
The Fiery Eagle🐦
High on the plateau, Emily and Katy stepped towards the jagged edge. The cotton, fluffy clouds shaped into a dark, misty storm. Emily was ready. She had to defeat the eagle, but Katy was scared. She wasn't brave like her sister. She knew she would get captured when a dark shadow lurked into the distance. In seconds, everything changed...
Woosh! Above the girls, a violent force pushed them towards the bumpy, rocky cliff face. What was that? A walnut-coloured eagle emerged! It had gleaming feathers of scarlet and gold. The eagle stepped on the plateau and leered at Katy, sternly.
Katy glanced at its black beady eyes and concealed behind her elder sister.
''Katy! Go up there!" Emily whispered while pointing upwards.
Emily knew how excellent her sister was at climbing. She had won three shiny trophies (that were placed on her shelf) in a row at her school! Hardworking Katy was focused on listening to her older sister until she smelt smoke beneath her feet...
"Emilly! Help!" Katy called out. But as she was too high up, Emily couldn't hear her. By now, Katy was so close to the top. But, she had never been this afraid before.
At last, Katy had reached the top There was no time for celebrating. She had to help Emily. So, Katy reached for her penny-brown rucksack and grabbed a torch. Katy shone the torch at the fierce eagle. By then, Emily had whacked it. Crack!
-ends-