Children's writing: a story using given criteria - by Alayna
Thank you for sharing your plan and writing, Alayna! This is a fascinating story because you have managed to include two problems! You have developed the setting description by using figurative language for the rain thundering down and describing what the water is doing in detail. You have developed your character detail, and the character asks herself a rhetorical question, which helps the reader empathise with her situation. You show us (using Show' Don't Tell) that she is brave (she kicks the sharks away), and we can share her inner thoughts about continuing and persevering. Using the technique of starting the story with action is a great idea to hook your reader immediately, and ending with a cliffhanger is another super technique. It is such an enjoyable story to read. Thank you!
As well as your first draft here, your plan is also included so that we can show your initial thought process and how you decided to structure your writing.
The Boat - by Alayna