back to Gallery

A character’s body movement - a study by Alicia

08.10.21

Thank you so much for sharing your super-duper writing, Alicia.

Recently, you have been working hard on using figurative language and starting sentences in different ways, and these now appear perfectly in your writing. Now, you have turned your attention to show the detail in how a character moves.

For example, in the second paragraph, you describe her feeling hot (and you use a simile and start the sentence with an -ing verb). Then, you develop this and describe her peeping through curtains and then she removes her spacesuit.
This is excellent - so much detail in a short space of the text.

Well done!

 

A character’s body movement - a study by Alicia

She arrived in a room full of all kinds of dusts in different shapes. She snapped her fingers and the dusts vanished and furnitures appeared. The mirror she appeared out of it was a mirror time machine that she invented. It could take you to any places you wanted, and you could set a timer which you could relax while you waited for it to arrive.

Feeling hot, she thought her head was like a house that was burning with fire. She peeped through the curtains and saw the street was crowded with people; some were rushing around and some were wandering. She removed her spacesuit and changed into proper clothes and went out to the street.

As soon as she arrived at library, she picked up a book called “Santa’s Day in His Workshop”. She sat in a lavender-purple armchair and looked up. Surprisingly, she saw a section that was very strange. Out of curiosity, she went there without hesitation and saw a gigantic book in front of her. The book began to flip the pages. She heard footsteps approaching to her as fast as a leopard. She hid inside the book as flat as a pancake. After several minutes, the library was as quiet as an enchanted forest that you could hear a pin dropping onto the floor. The sky outside the library was midnight-black coloured. Suddenly a hole appeared in the book that shows what the book was about but only in a film. She went in ……