back to Gallery

a description of a creature - by tom


This is a wonderful description Tom. Written in the present tense, you have thought carefully about the different areas to write about: habitat, head/body, smell, diet and behaviour. Your vocabulary is extremely well chosen (such as the adjectives 'marbly, inky, gnarled, menacing'). You include aptly chosen alliteration as well - 'mighty, marbly, miserable monster' and 'subdued, silent, still swamp'. Another lovely piece of evocative language is: 'The heat of the swamp seems to radiate the monster'.

The creature - by Tom

Here, on the land of Solitary, lives the mighty, marbly, miserable monster. We have a once in a lifetime view as it is emerging slowly out of the inky swamp with willowing trees and gnarled branches. His eyes are as red as blood. The head of the creature looks like a mushroom which has rotted into a straight line. His arms were made of branches that had decomposed over the 1000 years that he has been living. He has seaweed instead of hair and his beard is also made of dead fish skin.

When there is a full moon at night, it catches its prey with its menacing jaws. The fish who are in front of him stand no chance; he will gnaw at them until there is only a chip of bone left in the subdued, silent, still swamp.

The stench of dead fish hung around the monster. The heat of the swamp seems to radiate the monster. Sometimes, if the monster hides in the swamp and people come by, they think the swamp is idyllic but when the monster jumps out at them, there would be just one single sad solitary bone left on the floor. Then you would realise it ate them.

 If a fish ate the monster’s leg it would let out a rowdy and raucous scream. Its scream could be heard from 15 miles away and if you heard it, you would be deaf for ever more.

 The swamp the monster lives in seems like acid, ready to kill a human in one second. The people who have jumped into the acid like swamp, have never been seen again except for a few minute bones bobbing in the water. It is amazing that a creature can survive in such a deadly place for humans. The monster is a brutal beast who will kill and eat anything (except vegetables) in its way.