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Children's writing: Forbidden forest - by Ethan

09.10.21

Ethan, your short story is a triumph for many reasons! 

You have a great structure across the three paragraphs and also detail within each paragraph. You are using a variety of sentence openers as well as a variety of verb and adjective choices. You are also including figurative language (personification - the forest whispering across the valley).

One writing technique that you are using is 'THINK THREE', where we think of three things to say about the setting we are describing.

Example of using THINK THREE to add detail to a setting description:

This forest started to whisper across the valley and cackle creepily. (1) All the birds flew out of the trees to find a different nesting spot. (2) The towering, umbrella-like trees were canopies covering the entire forest floor into impenetrable darkness. (3)

So, let's read your wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Forbidden Forest - by Ethan

Gazing at the forbidden forest next to my house, I wondered what it was like inside. As my mother warned me a million times not to go near it, I pondered that the forest was haunted. According to my neighbour, there is a Black Panther lurking among the forest trees right now!

Peeping out of my bedroom window, I saw two boys searching for their missing friend when his voice let out a sharp cry for help. They dashed off into the deep dark forest without thinking. This forest started to whisper across the valley and cackle creepily. All the birds flew out of the trees to find a different nesting spot. The towering, umbrella-like trees were canopies covering the entire forest floor into impenetrable darkness.

While looking around for their friend, a peal of thunder from a distant hill made the boys jump out of their skin. The legendary Black Panther emerged through a twirling cloud of jet-black smoke. It was a black furry ball, tearing through the forest at lightning speed while crushing all the trees in its way. The boys were screaming and shedding big tears while huddling together in a forest clearing, anticipating a terrifying nightmare.

 

-ends-