back to 11 Plus Blog

Children's writing: using an image prompt - by Kai

24.11.21

This is a super-duper piece of writing, Kai! The characters' actions are based around the missing ruby, and the descriptions are so carefully chosen; they paint a picture of the characters' emotions and the setting. 

Using 'Biting my tongue' as the opening phrase sets the tension of the scene. The description of no food on a 'patterned china plate' adds to the intricate detail. From this, we can imagine so much. 

You have used the trickier coordinating conjunctions (our writing focus for the class), such as 'for' and 'yet'.

You have peppered your writing with super 'Show, Don't Tell' descriptions, such as the one of the dad using a simile:

Dad was a stout man who was hunched like a question mark.

Fabulous. Thanks so much for sharing with us.