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Children's writing: continue a story - by Ethan

10.11.21

This was another super piece of writing, Ethan. Your task was to continue the story of a person who fell from the sky and landed in the rainforest. I love the humour you included in the snake's character and his accent and lack of teeth and sight – this is excellent. You are developing your ideas really well, and I can see instances of ‘THINK THREE’ all over the place where you have elaborated on ideas for character and setting. You have chosen verbs and adjectives well and have used figurative language (e.g., personification - 'the sun was beaming with happiness'). You have given careful thought to the structure of your writing and have introduced a big problem at the end of the first paragraph and elaborated on it in the middle, and the third paragraph is left on a cliffhanger. Super job!

Surviving the petrifying jungle - by Ethan

Dizzily, my bloodshot eyes were mesmerised and my body was paralysed. Staring at my friend’s chest, there were dozens of holes with razor-sharp daggers pinning him onto the ground and there was blood oozing out of the holes. I woke up the next morning and looked around the island. My friend was still sleeping and the sun was beaming with happiness. I noticed that the holes in my friend’s chest had vanished and that it was all a petrifying nightmare. Phew! However, I had the creepy feeling as something suddenly flashed past my eyes and I twisted my neck around. Someone was watching me and that he was an ominous, cunning figure…

Trembling with fear like a scaredy cat, I was chattering my teeth like I was freezing to death. Was something going to attack me? Deep down in my heart, I was telling myself bad luck would come soon. I suddenly heard and saw a three eyed figure with a forked tongue and spotted body. I screamed with fear and slapped my friend on the butt to wake him up but he just stayed there and would not budge. In the end, my sleeping friend had to be dragged along the ground by me. However, the ghost-like figure just glided in front of us swiftly and talked to us. It hissed with its gigantic double-fanged mouth, “If I could seez you and if I had teefs, you would be in a lot of big trouble mista!”

Arrogantly, I ignored what the creature said and got dozens of stones to throw them at it. It hissed with anger and attacked back but missed. While it was unconscious from the stone attack, I ran with my still sleeping friend and lucky enough, found a cave made by some survivors who also came here. We ran inside it and built spikes, bars, ropes and a door at the entrance. We got prepared for our journey home by building a raft out of logs and ropes, which the survivors forgot to take back. Will we survive the dastardly evil creature?

-ends-