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Children's writing: alien description - by Ethan

09.02.22

 

Your description is jam-packed with vivid images, Ethan, created with lovely language choices (adjectives, verbs and figurative language). This bring this creature to life and I can really imagine it. You set the scene using a time adverbial (During daytime) and use 'disk-like' ' hovered' 'slow as a snail' 'repelled' 'silvery' 'jet-black' 'wriggly' 'gurgle like a drain to make friends' and so on! Super! It's also lovely how you then write this almost as a guide to meeting an alien, and it's very funny when you tell us not to worry because the alien is a vegetarian but will give a slimy hug.

 

Thank you for sharing with us!

 

Let's read ...

 

Description of an alien - by Ethan

During daytime, with the slimmest chance of ever happening, a disk-liked, crimson spaceship hovered down to a park in my town as slow as a snail; dust and dry leaves were repelled by the massive force of the wind coming from the vessel’s propellers. A silvery sliding door at the bottom of the vessel opened with a creaky noise. A wriggly, jet-black alien whooshed down to the ground on a rainbow-coloured slide.

After it went in contact with a human, it would try to make friends with a slimy hug.  When it was hungry, its nine, saucer-like eyes turned blue and its long tentacles on its slimy body would curl around any greenery and chomp it down greedily. However, you did not need to fear as it was a vegetarian and would not attack any living things. Instead, it would gurgle like a drain to show affection to people. In fact, if you were lucky to meet one, just said “Hi” and it would make friends with you.