Children's writing: a picture response - by Ethan
Your personal response to this picture is really inventive and takes your reader on an intriguing journey, Ethan! Well done. You have chosen some excellent verbs and adjectives to bring the ‘hole’ description to life and the idea of falling into here is really scary. Calling the world ‘diabolical’ and the character having the ‘long grass in her sight’ are just two examples of great language choices. Your simile, 'weightless like air' gives a very vivid image. You have used a variety of opening phrases to give interest and detail, such as 'After a few minutes...' / 'Without warning...' / 'Scouring around ...' and 'Flabbergasted, ...'.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Let's read ...
The Two Girls Who Fell Down A Well
One very tropical and sunny day, there was an inquisitive little girl who loved nature and wanted to go for a hike with her best friend. They bounded to their nearest park for a jog together. After a few minutes of enjoying the fresh air, they both tumbled into a colossal, pitch-black hole. They fell and fell until they landed on squelchy slime at the bottom. They wondered why there was even a hole there and who dug it.
Scouring around, one of them realised that there was a mammoth-sized book at a corner where there was a door in it and they stepped into the book. This moment of discovery made her heart pound. Without warning, the book slammed shut and they were trapped in an unknown, diabolical world with long, thick grass in her sight.
Flabbergasted, they glanced around the world but nothing was there. They were sitting there for hours and hours until they gasped, "We are both really dumb, we SHOULD HAVE JUST OPENED THE BOOK AGES AGO!” They hurried back to the entrance and pushed opened the door. Then they found themselves starting to feel weightless like air and they floated all the way up to the ground where they collapsed with a thud!