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Children's writing: A description of a scene - By Tanvi

12.08.21

It can be tricky to write well about a picture showing just a scene - with no people and no obvious narrative. So, thank you very much to Tanvi who has kindly let us see her description! Tanvi, if I could find a metaphor to describe your use of language, I would say that it is a banquet for us to feast on!

The very first sentence using personification is a great way to set the tone of the piece:

'Roused from its tranquil, glass-like and stagnant position, the cobalt-blue water thrashed uneasily onto the tortilla-brown rocks, signalling to the fishermen to flee.'

A quick guide:
First, she thought about three levels to the picture - what she could see on the ground, then at eye level, then in the distance. For each of these elements, she built up a structure across three paragraphs. She described the scene (both seen and imagined) using figurative language, powerful adjectives and verbs and compound-colours. She created a mini-narrative by alluding to the fishermen, their vulnerable boats and of their having fled to a safer environment. This is not a story, and the writing question did not ask for her to imagine she was there or write about what happens to the people living there.

To add another dimension to the writing, Tanvi used weather across all three paragraphs to signal a change in time and to add drama. In the picture, the weather looks beautiful, so she had to use her imagination. 

Thank you so much, Tanvi, for sharing this wonderful, imagery-rich description with us!